bird & bears

of course holly wd pick the day of a car trip to wake at 445 :P. (nak) christine is here and she and i are driving the girls down to visit my parents in kansas city. i'm nervous, of course: the longest i've driven with both is 2.5 hrs and that was 3 months ago. this drive is 5 hrs :/. we are going to ignore naptime (at our own peril) and try to get out early(ish -- have some errands) so if we need to take frequent breaks we'll still get there at a decent time, figure out sleeping arrangements (ah, the magical beds of my family follow us wherever we go... i can't bedshare with robin, ideally not roomshare either, and they both need pitch black rooms), and god willing settle robin in. holly is still young enough that she'll sleep wherever... robin notsomuch.

i'm nervous about the usual suspects, but excited at a change of scenery, a yard to play in, good food and conversation, and maybe a trip to the zoo.

brian is going to stay here and do a ton of cleaning and hopefully smoke pot and play guitar and have fun as a manly man, and not mope and be like "i miss you" which of course he will but COME ON, he's getting to be alone for days on end!! OPPORTUNITY!

anyway. holly has fallen back asleep now so...

Went to the doc earlier this week for a checkup and to talk about getting an IUD. I'd heard iffy things about this doc (gave bad BFing advice) but she's convenient to our house so I went with her anyway. I kind of liked her, she was nice and I felt like she was good at flagging potential problems. She asked me a lot about the fatigue I experience and talked to me about options for dealing with potential depression (and highlighted counseling and yoga/exercise before saying that a low-dose antidepressant was also an option). I guess my thyroid is a little prominent so she had some bloodwork done (I guess it must be normal, they were supposed to be back yesterday and she said she'd call if it was abnormal... but maybe she's busy). She's also checking my vit D levels and some other stuff as well. She recommended that I lose some weight (but was sure to ask me what weight I would feel comfortable with and that I could maintain). I mean, yes, I'd love to weigh 130 instead of 150, I just don't know when I'll squeeze this yoga and exercise into my day. But I will try to at some point in the next whenever. I know she's right, I *would* feel better. Ugh, stupid good advice.

She agreed that I'm a great candidate for the IUD, gave the whole spiel, and then said "sometimes they won't approve it for contraception but will approve it for menstrual problems, so, have you had any problems with your period?" And I was like "yeah, it's really heavy, right?" which was funny. So once it gets approved I'll get it inserted (weirdly nervous about this). I'm really excited about having a condom-free sex life. Now if I could only manage to be awake enough to have sex...

Holly's sleep is crappy! I think I broke her. I think I made the same mistakes I made with Robin and now she'll only sleep 45 minutes at a time and freaks if there's no boob in her mouth. FUCK. I don't know how to fix this, either, without making her cry, and Holly's cry BREAKS MY HEART INTO TEENSY PIECES because she is SO SWEET AND LOVING. She seems to take it really PERSONALLY that there's no boob (whereas Robin just seemed insulted). Siiighhh.

She's sitting up on her own for a minute or two at a time. Still a little unsteady but really close. She's so excited about this. She's getting mad when I put her in the Bumbo :P.

I have tried a little harder lately to get Robin interested in potty learning to no avail. I think she's going to be a late one. She knows what it's for and still couldn't care less. She screams to wear her diaper. It's just like the damn toddler bed that she hasn't cared about, either. But Holly has pooped on the floor naked two mornings in a row, so dammit, I'm going to save up swagbucks and get her a little potty and try to have ONE kid not in diapers full time!

Robin has slept through the night 2 nights in a row. She wakes at 5:45, but still. Holly is pretty wakeful but that's ok. Progress is progress.

April flew by.


I gave Robin her first haircut on Easter Sunday. She had her hair smartly bobbed. I bribed her with TV and a chocolate bunny.




Holly's new skills include putting her feet up on the bouncy seat, squealing like crazy, holding her head up really well, allllmost rolling over and alllllmost laughing. She can also hold toys well and is chewing on them (and her thumb!!) madly. This is partly because she is ALREADY TEETHING!! Her bottom 2 teeth are just below the surface.


Becoming little buddies.


On a walk with Dada.


Robin loves painting. Watercolors are pretty clean and easy to clean up.


Holly displaying an inherited loyalty to the Cubs with the stuff Janine sent both girls!

Robin's illness continues. Her coughing finally woke her up at 5 am. I had her use the inhaler, which we've been practicing with. It seems to not have made a ton of difference. I am not sure I'm using it perfectly, it's hard to get a toddler to comply with a face mask, but I thought it would make more of a difference. I gave it to her 20 min ago and only just now is her cough slowing down but it certainly hasn't gone away. I just don't understand how she can get a cough every. single. time she has a virus with NO EXPLANATION, and it NOT be viral-induced asthma. **BANGS HEAD AGAINST WALL REPEATEDLY** This was my silver bullet and now I'm really worried we'll just be dealing with this awful cough FOR LIFE with NO RECOURSE.

I'll have to call my doctor. (Have I mentioned our new doctor and how much I like him? I took Robin to her WBV last week and we had a great talk. He tested this weird rash on her knee that she's had since JULY and 2 days ago he CALLED ME to tell me the results. Then he said he'd check on it again when I bring Holly in May 4th -- probably the closest I'll ever get to back-to-back appts or whatever. I told him about Robin's frequent nightwaking and he asked some Qs, mostly to rule out night terrors, and then said, "Well... that sucks!" Ha.)

Yet she has no fever and is in fine spirits, and is even eating about the same as usual ("cerealmilk" as she calls it... cheerios and milk). So I'm confused and uncertain about how to move forward. The whole do-I-send-her-to-daycare-or-not debate is getting soooo old. Childcare is supposed to solve problems, right? I could let her stay home with the nanny and Holly. SIIIIIGGGHHHH.

We set up a new toy shelf with bins and a sling bookshelf in the never ending quest to use our small space more efficiently. I keep hoping that if she can see them, Robin will play more with her toys instead of messing with our stuff and whining :).

Robin just said that something on tv was "really annoying." Ha. At least she's in a good mood, at least she's in a good mood, at least she's in a good mood...

We did go to the clinic and it turns out Robin has an ear infection. Now the rest of us have caught the cold that started this whole thing, which makes me feel awful. I HATE that Holly is sick at 5 weeks, and I HATE that I had to cancel my 2nd day back to teaching.

Also, our midwifery bill is dead.

This week can suck it!!

That's right, she is already smiling a little bit.



And the cutest thing ever captured on film (or whatever you'd say for a digital camera).

I had a baby today.

IT'S A GIRL!

Holly Geraldine born at 10:06 am after 8 hours of labor -- 8 lbs 4 oz 20.5 inches (longer and skinnier than I expected!).

She looks exactly like Robin did as a newborn, but duskier skin and darker hair. She has already nursed about a zillion times and has made 2 enormous poops in her short life.

I will post about the birth soon, maybe? I feel like I should take some time to process before I write about it, although I will say that YES it was shorter, YES it was intense, and YES birth still hurts like hell. I feel great, though, and didn't tear at ALL (wooo!!!).

Holly is a name we liked. Geraldine is for Brian's grandmother. Robin has already given her many kisses and shared nanas with her. But she was pissed when Brian took her back for her nap and I didn't come, nor did BABY 'OLLY!

It's all snowy out and everyone is sleeping but me.
pics and deets soon!!